Quite the Character (Reference)

I suppose it's one of the things needed when you decide to let a flat to someone from a foreign land, who's never been there before and thus no traceable record you can access that character references are required. That led me to the puzzling question of who to ask to be my character referee. The person had to be a non-relative that I have known for more than three years and they suggested a previous employer or landlord. The problem here is that I tend not to keep in contact with previous employers and even at that I've never known any of my previous employers for longer than three years.

So that leaves asking one of my friends to either pretend to be a previous employer or give a really weak character reference. Another problem with this plan would be that I'm not sure if I trust most of my friends not to have a laugh and claim that I'm a serial arsonist or something like that. I could also use one of my family members and just claim they're not related to me, but then I'd need to construct some convoluted story about how this random person knows me so well.

I eventually decided to take the risk of asking a friend to do it for me; one Ross Frenett. Not only have I lived with Ross, but Ross was a supervisor in a call centre I used to work in last year. Admittedly, he actually supervised me very rarely due our different timetables, but it's the closest I can come to a previous employer who's known me more than three years. When I asked Ross if he would let his name go forward on the form; his response was positive, adding 

"You're a sexual deviant who steals things and has an unhealthy interest in fire"

I'm screwed.